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The Real Reason Men and Women Prefer Male Bosses

Oct 1, 2015

ROSABETH MOSS KANTER: Women-friendly workplaces bring numerous benefits. The evidence shows better performance outcomes, including more thoughtful decisions and more innovation because of diversity of ideas, more talent in the organization because of meritocracy and a larger pool of candidates, a more open culture that controls the crimes of cronyism, and a tilt toward collaboration that makes it easier to operate as a unified enterprise.

Yet change in the higher echelons is coming at a snail’s pace. Despite female-friendly policies, corporate surveys and scrutiny, progress hasn’t caught up with the promise. As a result, for many advocates of gender equity, responsibility for what holds women back in the workplace has shifted from outright discrimination to micro-inequities–daily slights, insults, unspoken assumptions or unconscious biases.

In my studies and observations over many years, another factor looms large–whether women are in positions to exercise power. Power means the ability for women to make decisions about resources and control the destinies of others. And to do this without being undermined or second-guessed.

I hit upon the power factor when trying to understand why surveys showed that men and women alike preferred male bosses, whether or not they had congenial personalities. I looked behind this apparent bias to find that the difference was an expectation that men had more power to do things for their associates, whereas women role as individual contributors. A woman, even one admired for her talent, was seen as able to achieve success for herself but not have the power to take others with her into the next opportunity. People wanted bosses who could open doors, make connections, offer favors and elevate the status of the people around them. But the jobs women were clustered in, even in the C-suite, weren’t the ones where they could accumulate and exercise power; for example, to dole out resources, including money, connections and deals.

When women have this kind of power, they soar. A female publishing company chief executive attributes her success in moving to the top in part to her strategic use of the prime tickets to sports and entertainment events that came her way. A successful woman in a male-dominated Wall Street firm learned that her value increased when she used her networking skills to always have a contact she could offer her male peers; she soon became a deal-making insider.

Power brokers get attention. Power brokers get invited to prime occasions. Power brokers get information. Those with power can control the circumstances of when and where they work, which reduces personal stress and makes jobs more satisfying, because they are assumed to be doing something important.

The flip side is that powerlessness corrupts. Being ignored, left out, overlooked or the last to know are highly corrosive and demoralizing. In response, men and women alike tighten up and become over-controlling of whatever small territory they have, the essence of petty bureaucrats. But for women, it becomes another reason to argue that women think too small to be high-level leaders.

More power in the hands of women will help with other imbalances, too. One of the areas slowest to change is the household division of labor–that is, women carry more of the family responsibilities and chores than men. But women in high-powered jobs are more likely to have spouses that do a greater share. As more women rise, there are also more male-friendly jogging strollers for taking care of the children.

So here’s my one-sentence solution to accelerate progress: Give budgetary authority to women, and watch the respect go up. Nothing like having to go hat in hand to a woman for a budget overrun to suddenly note all her positive attributes. We should be studying whether the pay gap closes when women make compensation decisions. And the power to say “no” is also important, as we are learning from the exposure of sexual assault on college campuses.

You don’t mess around with powerful women.